Category Archives: Faith

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How to Create a More Happy Life

7 Ideas to Help You Grow in Happiness

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It seems that everyone is searching for happiness. When I Googled happiness I got 349 million results.

Is happiness something we can find or is it something that we will always be chasing? We can capture temporary happiness in the present. Many times it is a decision rather than a state. If you decide you are going to be happy your likelihood of achieving it is much higher.

You don’t have to be rich materially to be happy. I have met some very happy people in places where the people are poor economically. Many people have temporary happiness when they purchase something, but find that happiness wears out quickly and the “thing” no longer makes them happy.

I have spent time over the years pondering what makes people happy. People seem to be most happy when they are giving or doing something for others. It does not take money. It just takes your time.

Here 7 ideas to create more happiness in your life:

1) Perform daily acts of charity. During your morning reflection time think of things you can do to serve other people. What nice things can you do for one of your family members, a friend or somebody at work today?

2) Do a service project. Many employers and church organizations have projects like Habitat for Humanity, serving homeless shelters, painting projects for seniors and many other projects to help others. Do at least one of these each year.

3) Write a note to a friend or your spouse. A handwritten note can be powerful for the person receiving it. Send your spouse a love letter. Send a friend a letter letting them know how they have affected your life. Write a note to one of your children letting them know how special they are.

4) Do something fun. Go do an activity with your spouse, family or friends. Do something that you enjoy and have not done for a while.

5) Write down 5 things per day that you are grateful for. A lot of people use a gratitude journal to record these.  Gratitude is one of the keys to being happier.

6) Create Memories. Memories are created by doing things not by buying things. Things wear out, but memories last a lifetime.  Think of some of your best memories. Write them down. Talk about them with your family at your next family dinner.

7) Pray for others. Pray for the people that you know that are sick, have marital issues or have other needs on a daily basis. Prayer is powerful.

We will only find true happiness in the Lord.  We were made to know, love and serve Him.  In eternity we will find all the happiness we seek.

Be Great!

 

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A Great Way to Start Your Day

A 7 Step Morning Routine

 

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How do you start your morning? Do you have a morning routine?

You will find that your days will go better if you start with a morning routine. To get a better start to your day set up a morning routine before you head off to work. This may mean having to get up a little earlier. Getting up before everyone else gets up will enable you to have some solitude in the morning.

Here is a sample 7 Step Morning Routine:

  1. Have a cup of coffee or your favorite morning beverage pray and reflect
  2. Reflect on what you are grateful. Record it on a list or in a journal
  3. Decide what charitable acts or acts of kindness you can do for someone today
  4. Plan out your day
  5. Write a handwritten note or two to friends
  6. Workout  (If you never exercise start with short walk in the morning)
  7. Shower and have breakfast

Develop your own morning routine. Write it down and stick with it for 60 days.

Share this with a friend. Live life intentionally!

Be Great!

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How to Write a Spiritual Program for Life

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Many of you have a Plan for Your Life, but do you have a Spiritual Program for Your Life?
A spiritual program for your life is a plan to help you progress in your spiritual development.  It a a road map you create to help you grow in holiness.
Steps to create a spiritual program for your life:
1) You will need to set some time aside to reflect on yourself. I recommend taking at least a half a day to do this. Pick a quiet place to reflect.
2) Determine your root sin.  The root sins are Pride, Vanity and Sensuality. We each have all of these to a degree, but one will usually stand out.
Manifestations of Pride: You don’t trust others, you are always right, being judgmental and critical of others, always trying to hit the next goal, getting down on yourself when you fail, not wanting to depend on anyone.
Manifestations of Vanity: You seek approval and acceptance from others, wanting others to like and admire you, fear rejection from friends and peers, fall into impurity in order to be liked or feel loved.
Manifestations of Sensuality: You avoid tasks or work because of your emotional state, always wanting the “newest and best” of everything, don’t control your appetite, eating or drinking to excess, escape by turning on TV or watching movies to avoid what you should do, seek intimacy for selfish pleasure.
3) List out 4 – 6 manifestations of your root sin.
     Example: I tend to judge other people
4) Choose an opposite virtue to your root sin
     Examples of opposite virtues:
     Pride: Humility, Simplicity, Meekness, Compassion, Docility, Service of Others
     Vanity: Purity of intentions, Seeing Christ in others, Purity, acceptance of yourself
     Sensuality: Focus on the person of Christ, Hope, Patience, Purity,
5) Choose specific means to obtain the specific virtue
      Choose what you can do on a daily, weekly, monthly basis to form the specific virtue.
6) Determine the ideal you are going to strive to imitate
     The ideal is always to strive to become more like Christ. You need to choose an aspect of Christ’s personality as your ideal.
7) Choose a motto. Your motto is your battle cry.
 Here is a worksheet to help you develop your Spiritual Program for Your Life. This is a sample of a Spiritual Program for Your Life so you can see what a completed one may look like.
 This document should be used to do a daily examination of your conscience to see how you did each day. Reflect on it and review it. Be careful not to beat yourself up too much. Remember this is a plan that you are working on and you will not be a 100% successful every day. It took years for you to form some of these habits and tendencies. It will take time for you to work on yourself and grow spiritually.

 Be Great!

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How to Create a Plan for Your Life

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Do you have a plan for your life? Is it in electronic or print form?

I teach a plan for life using of the 6 f’s: Faith, Family, Fitness, Finances, Friends and Fun. I am going to give you a format that you can use to put a plan together for your life.

There are two distinct paths I have watched people take over the years. The first path is to build your life around your career/business and the other path is to build your career/business around your life.

The first path, building your life around your career/business, usually leads to a bad ending. It often leads to burnout, health issues, a drinking or drug problem and often unfortunately divorce. This is avoidable if you choose the path of building your career/business around your life. I am going to show you how.

The first thing to do is consider how you would like to be remembered for by your wife, kids, friends and family. Make a list of what is most important to you and how you would like your wife and kids remember you.

What is the main thing that you are striving to be remembered for in your life? Write your life purpose statement from this.

Now take each of the 6 categories (Faith, Family, Fitness, Finances, Friends and Fun) and put a number on each of these based on the importance to you in your life, with 1 being highest and 6 being lowest. This is your values hierarchy.

Take each of the 6 categories using the format provided and put them in the order you choose. The next thing to do is to take each individual category and write down what this category would look like to you in a “perfect” world. Do this for all 6 categories. Here is a working document.

Now take your first category and write all the activities on a daily, weekly, monthly or annual basis that are needed to reach your vision statement in that category. Do this for all your categories. Here is a sample for a family category.

Many people like to take the 6 F’s and break them down into subcategories. For example on the family account many people like to breakdown into categories like Marriage, Children or Grandchildren and Relatives. You can create activities for each of the subcategories if you choose to make your plan for life like this.

This is your plan so you can make it any way that you want.  A plan for life is not something you can do in an hour or two. This is something that you need to schedule a whole day to go someplace offsite like a park, a lake or a place you like to think. It is also a great document to share with your spouse since you are living life together.

This is one of the most important documents that you can ever put together. Some of your life plan is in concrete, but much of it is in sand and changes as you go through different stages in your life. You want to review this document and make changes on a quarterly basis.

Pick a day every week to read your Plan for Your Life. Put it in your calendar to make sure it happens.

Be Great!

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How to Improve 6 Areas of Your Life in 2015

Finishing the Year Strong

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We just completing the first half of 2015.  This is a great time to do a mid year review.
The first step is to review each category of the 6 F’s.
Rate each category on a scale of 1 – 10 with 10 being the highest.
  1. Faith
  2. Family
  3. Fitness
  4. Finances
  5. Fun
  6. Friends
How are you doing? What areas did you have the highest scores? What areas are you out of balance?
Now focus on 3 – 5 things you want to improve the second half of the year.  What are the 2 -3 categories you want to improve? What activities do you need to change or do more of to improve? What resources do you need?  By when or what date do you need to have the activities completed? Write down the improvements and review them daily for the next two weeks. Change any activity that needs tweaked to help you get to where you want to be. Review this weekly through the rest of the year measuring your progress and adjusting the activities to help you get the score you want to attain in each of the 2 – 3 categories you have chosen to improve.
In the upcoming weeks I will cover building a plan to live life more intentionally and a program for your spiritual life.

Be Great!

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How to Protect Your Marriage in Today’s World

30753393_mMy personal experience is from protecting my own marriage. I am by no means in expert in this. I have experience observing coworkers, friends and acquaintances face these challenges. It is extremely sad to see a divorce, especially when children are involved. I will show you things you can do to protect and improve your marriage.  I will also show you some things to avoid.

According to the Austin Institute for The Study of Family and Culture, the divorce rate has hovered between 40 and 50% since the 1970’s. Sixty-six (66) percent of those divorcees who wanted the divorce as much as or more than their spouse listed more than one reason for the divorce, while one in four offered 5 or more reasons. The most-cited reason for wanting a divorce was infidelity by either party at 37%. Pornography accounted for 5%.

Nearly 50% of all divorces start by a man or a woman meeting someone in a work or similar environment and becoming attracted to them. It starts out as a friendship and then the friendship develops into something more. In some cases it remains just a friendship.

In many others, the friendship starts to grow and keeps you excited and hoping to see or talk to that person. You begin to look at them differently. Like all new relationships it is fresh and can be exciting. The other person might even be speaking your love language to you in a way you do not get at home. You start to get attracted to this person more and more and trust builds. Over a period of time there becomes a mutual liking of each other at a deeper level and you start to feel connected intellectually, emotionally, spiritually and start to appreciate your mutual likenesses. You begin to trust this person and start to share intimate information. You may begin to think this person is better than your spouse in ways you appreciate. You talk more frequently by phone, text, social media and seek to find ways to meet in person. At this point you have crossed to the “danger zone” and are headed for much more than being just friends. You are headed for an affair if you are not there already.

Many people think that adultery is when you actually have intimacy with someone other than your spouse. Adultery can also occur in your thoughts and fantasies. If you daydream of having intimacy with someone other than your spouse you are in an adulterous situation.  This is one reason pornography is so dangerous.

So what do you to avoid this happening to you in your marriage? You proactively protect yourself and your marriage. I know that in today’s business world some of the ideas I provide can be very challenging. Strive to do the best you can. Here are some things to do and some things to avoid.

To Do’s

  • Keep date nights every week with your spouse.
  • Create date moments.
  • Learn your love languages. See my blog on this.
  • Take time to talk about each others day without interruptions.
  • Touch base during the day with a text or phone call.
  • Go on getaway weekends.
  • Eat dinner as a family.
  • Spend time together as a family doing fun things.
  • Attend your children or grandchildren’s events together.
  • Men watch your eyes. It is easy to let them wander. That lady you are looking at is somebody else’s wife, girlfriend or daughter.
  • Women I know that you look at men too. Watch your eyes.
  • Attend church together as a family.
  • Pray together. Couples that pray together stay together.
  • Call your spouse nightly or more frequently if you are on business travel.
  • Plan intimacy with frequency.
  • Visit your spouses office so they know who you are.
  • Get an accountability partner if you are struggling in a situation.

To Avoid

  • Meet with someone of the opposite sex in a closed door office if the office does not have windows to the interior. Leave the door open or have someone else in the office if there is no interior window.
  • Go out to lunch or dinner with another man or woman you are not married to alone. Take another man or woman with you.
  • Avoid pornography at all costs. This can be addictive and lead to other problems in a marriage.
  • Avoid drinking to excess. When people drink too much they will do things they would not do when they are in control. I have witnessed situations where married men or women have gotten in situations they should not have been in thought, word or action.
  • Fantasizing about someone while having intimacy with your spouse.
  • Day dream about having intimacy with a person other than your spouse.
  • Saying the name of a person other than your spouse during intimacy
  • Flirting. All men and women do this to a degree. We were built to be attracted to the opposite sex, but these are when it goes too far.
    • Gaze into anothers eyes longer 3 or 4 seconds too long
    • Touch of the hands for a few seconds too long
    • Rub up against the person in a provocative way
    • Put your hand on their shoulder or somewhere else and keep it there
    • Put your arm around the person and leave it there for an extended time
    • Playfully continue to punch on the shoulder or somewhere else as you talk to them
    • A kiss on the cheek that is longer than a peck
    • A kiss on the lips or an open mouthed kiss
  • Tell another man or woman how much better they are than your spouse.
  • Tell someone of the opposite sex that is not your spouse how much you are looking forward to seeing them or spending time together.
  • Tell someone that is not your spouse that you have been dreaming about them.
  • Putting your spouse down in front of others with friends, in public or online in social media.
  • Alienating your spouse by excessively complimenting another person of the opposite sex in front of them or friends.
  • When you are on Business Travel
    • Try not to travel with someone of the opposite sex alone in the car.
    • Stay away from Hotel Bars. Many of these are where people try to “hook up”.
    • Never have someone of the opposite sex in your hotel room alone with you.
    • Avoid the adult TV movies. Ask the hotel to disconnect these if they are a temptation for you.

These are just a few ideas to try to keep your marriage protected. Please add comments with any ideas you use to protect your marriage.

Feel free to share this with someone that you might feel this would benefit.

Be Great!

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Lessons from Haiti


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I recently returned from a mission trip in Haiti with Mission Youth Missions I attended the mission with my amazing wife Donna and my 2 awesome daughters Katie and Aly. We had a group of mostly Benedictine College students that my wife and youngest daughter helped organize.

This was my second time in Haiti. It was very encouraging to see the progress that has been made in the country since 2013. There are more paved roads.  Businesses like Toms shoes have started factories in Port-au-Prince and there are lots of construction projects going on.

Haiti was thoroughly unprepared when the 7.0 magnitude earthquake hit on January 12, 2010. The earthquake devastated the island, leaving millions homeless. Death toll estimates vary anywhere from 220,000 to 316,000. Over one million people were initially displaced, and about 500,000 remain homeless today.

The country was devastated by the earthquake. Experts say that it will be another 10 years before “serious results” can finally be seen.
86% of people in Port au Prince are living in slum conditions
80% of education in Haiti is provided in often poor-quality private schools
Half of people in Port-au-Prince have no access to latrines and only one-third have access to tap water

Haiti is an extremely poor country that I would call a 4th world country. The average wage is $3 (US) per day.
Even though it is a poor country in terms of world economics, it is a wealthy country in other ways.

The sun rises in Haiti every morning just like it does everywhere else in the world and it is truly beautiful. The people in Haiti value relationships, they are happy, they dress very well and dress up in their best clothes on Sunday. They put the U.S. to shame on how they dress on Sundays to go to church.

The ocean and mountains provide fantastic scenery. It is a country that given the right government and opportunities could thrive. The country has all the natural resources needed to succeed financially.

Here are some lessons I have learned.

Be Flexible. Schedules can change at any time. The game plan on any mission trip can be to be at someplace tomorrow only to learn that it is not going to work out and a new plan needs to be made.
Be Adaptable. Can you imagine scraping paint off baby cribs with a steak knife? This is exactly what we did at the Missionaries of Charity children’s home. You don’t always have the best tools to do a job. You make do with what tools you have available. I am sure when the sisters got steak knives donated to them they thought how can we use these?
Gratitude. It is hard to not be thankful for all that we have in the United States. To be born in the U.S. is like winning the genetic lottery. We don’t realize how fortunate we are to have all that we have. We can turn the faucet on and have hot clean water. We can go to a grocery store and obtain anything we want to eat. Even our poor are rich in countries like Haiti.
Selflessness. Humbly taking care of someone you don’t know with human compassion. You play with kids, feed babies, change diapers, clean wounds, rub someones back or lotion their hands and feet. Haitians speak French Creole, we speak Enlgish. You can only communicate with them through the language of love. You look into their eyes or use hand signals and immediately you understand one another.
Sacrifice. This takes on many forms. There is sacrifice of not eating the foods you enjoy, taking cold showers with unclean water, sleeping in uncomfortable bedding, sleeping on floors, laughing geckos at night, ants in your bed, roosters crowing at all hours, 3 inch cock roaches in the shower and lots of mosquitoes. This pales in comparison to the people of Haiti that are living in tents and makeshift housing every single day.
Choices. Like many things in life there are choices. It usually boils down to two. You can complain about the circumstances you are in or you can make the best with what you have and just move forward.
Pray Hard. It takes a lot of prayer when you are on a mission to give you strength and to help you to make it through the day sometimes. It can be extremely emotional to see children die and to see children and adults in pain when you are unable to do anything to help them. The only thing you can do is pray for them.

These are just some of the lessons I learned. Every time I go on a mission trip I learn more from the people and am given much more than I give.

Be Great!

“Within you is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be your yourself.”  –Hermann Hesse