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Category Archives: Marriage
4 Steps To Getting More Accomplished In Your Day
Have you ever wondered why some people get so much more done than others in a day? 
There are a lot of reasons. Some people are naturally gifted at this skill of prioritizing their time. Others have learned how to be more effective with their daily tasks.
Here are some things that you can do everyday to get more done each day.
1. Take care of yourself first
- Exercise for at least 20 – 30 minutes per day. Exercise is one of the key factors in giving you the more energy. Many people work out first thing in the morning to start the day alert and ready to go. Some people like to work out during lunch to give them energy for the rest of the day.
- Sleep 7 – 9 hours. Sleep is key to being productive. The most productive people get 7 – 9 hours of sleep per night. Test this to see what works best for you. There are those that brag about how little sleep they get. Sure you can do this for periods of time, but eventually they are going to get sick or suffer burnout symptoms.
- Power naps. Many highly productive people take naps during the day to stay fresh. These are 10 -20 minute power naps. This will be dependent on your work environment. Some large companies actually have nap areas or rooms. If you can’t do this at work, you may want to experiment with it on weekends.
- Eat Well. Eat protein in the morning and as the day goes on add carbohydrates. Your food consumption will depend on how many calories you burn during the day. Don’t have a huge carbohydrate load at lunch time. This will leave you feeling sluggish the rest of the day.
- Stay Hydrated. Drink plenty of water during the day.
2. Plan the day.
- Take time in the morning or evening before to plan your day. At the end of your work day or in the morning before you get started, plan your work day and list out what you want to accomplish for the day.
- Rank you list. Rank the things you want to get done during the day from most important to least important.
- Schedule harder tasks first when fresh. Take your list and take the hardest task and get it done first. As they say “eat the frog” first thing. Then take the next most important thing you have to do that day and do it.
- Take Scheduled Breaks. Schedule breaks into your day. You should take a 5 – 10 minute break every 30 – 40 minutes.
- Get away from the office for a break. Take 30 – 60 minutes to get away and have a break away from the office between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. depending on what works best for your schedule and work cycles. If nothing else just go for a walk to get some exercise and fresh air.
3. Stay focused
- Use a timer. Use a timer to remind you to take breaks. Most cell phones have timers on them.
- Turn off email and instant message reminders. The pop ups are distracting and will make you want to go off task and answer them.
- Do not answer the phone and emails when you get them. Do not start the day by answering email. Block time increments of 15 – 30 minutes in the morning and afternoon to answer emails and your phone.
- One time as many emails as possible. Trash the ones you just read and don’t need. Set an offline folder for the ones you can read later. Take action and return the ones that are important. Delegate emails that can be answered by another team member.
- Block Time for Social Media. Block 20 – 30 minutes to read social media and do posts.
- Take Scheduled Breaks every 30 – 45 minutes. Use your timer to not miss these.
- Keep a notebook and pen by you to prevent yourself from multi-tasking. As you get ideas or things you want to do jot them down so you can do them later.
4. Delegate
- Determine the value of your time. Take your annual pay and divide it by 2080. This will give you your hourly value based on a 40 hour work week. When you are going to do a task determine if it is worth it for you to do the task or to delegate it.
- Delegate the tasks to an assistant or team member that can do the task for you. If you are fortunate enough to have someone you can delegate to then make sure you are using that person’s skills effectively. Delegation can be hard because many highly efficient people usually like control. Delegation to a qualified team member will help you to get more done during the day. The sooner you learn that the sooner you will become more productive.
- Hire a virtual assistant. In today’s world of technology many people that are self employed are using virtual assistants to help them be more productive.
Be Great!
How to Improve Your Self-Discipline
Self-discipline is defined as the ability to make yourself do things that should be done. It can also be stopping yourself from doing things you don’t want to do. Becoming more self-disciplined is key to attaining the results you desire in any area of your life.
Practice self-discipline with small things. Examples of this would be to skip desert even though you love desert. Another would be that you dislike green beans, but you eat them anyway. Deny yourself little things so you can form yourself to deny yourself large things.
Break Projects into Tasks. It is easier to be disciplined to smaller tasks than large projects. It is all about breaking things down to the simple.
Schedule the tasks in a calendar. For example, if you are going to go to the gym 3 times a week put those days and times into whatever calendar system you use.
Be accountable. Find an accountability partner. Have someone that you are accountable to for the discipline you are trying to achieve.
Reward yourself for maintaining discipline. When you have done a great job on maintaining a discipline take time to celebrate your success.
If you fail to maintain your discipline start over. Nobody is perfect and self-discipline is a process. If you fail then get back up and start again.
Be Great!
How to Increase Your Likability in Two Seconds
Have you ever been at a store or restaurant and been met with a huge smile? How did it make you feel? I bet you smiled back didn’t you? You probably even felt you liked the person helping you. They may have even earned a bigger tip because of the smile they gave you.
There have been many studies on smiling and the positive impacts of smiling. Here are some benefits of smiling:
- Smiling is contagious. Here is an experiment. As you are walking up to someone put a smile on your face. The person you are smiling at will smile back at you almost all of the time. It is hard for them to not smile back because it is natural for them to mimic you.
- Smiling makes you more attractive. Research by the Face Research Laboratory found attractiveness preferences were stronger for smiling faces than for faces with neutral expressions.
- Smiling lengthens life. A study by Wayne State University by Ernest L. Abel and Michael L. Kruger found the larger your smile, the longer you might live. They did research on 230 photographs of professional baseball players from the Sporting News Baseball Register up to the 1952 season. They found longevity ranged from an average of 72.9 years for the players with no smiles, to 75 years for players with partial smiles to 79.9 years for players with big smiles.
- Smiling Reduces Stress. Dopamine, endorphins and serotonin are released when you smile. This relaxes you and potentially lowers your heart rate and blood pressure. Endorphins are a natural pain reliever. Serotonin is an anti-represent that lifts your mood. You get all these health benefits for free.
- Smiling Changes Your State. If you are not feeling super happy try putting a smile on your face. It is hard not to change your state of mind when you smile.
- Smiling Makes You More Likable. People tend to gravitate to people that are happier. Putting a smile on your face will make you more likable.
I put a mirror at the desk of my receptionist by her telephone to remind her to smile when she answered the telephone or greeted customers. She came in to my office one day and said, “I can’t believe how much more friendly people are.” The customers could see the smile in her voice and responded to her with a smile.
Here is an action plan for the next 2 weeks. Practice smiling every day. Test out your smile. Smile at someone and see if they smile back. I guarantee you that most of the time it will work. It will decrease your stress, improve your mood and allow you to maybe change other people’s moods by putting a smile on their face.
Be Great!
How to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Marriage
Are you dating your spouse? Has your relationship become routine with you doing your thing and your spouse doing their thing?
One way to stay closer is to have a date night every week. This is a special night every week that you go out and do something together or stay home and plan an evening together.
Date nights for many couples are nights are a set night every week. These are important. They allow the couple to have time together to talk and spend time alone.
Couples should get away at least 3 – 4 times a year. These don’t have to be extravagant. This could be just checking in to a local hotel for the weekend or it may be a staycation. Somebody takes the kids and you just stay at your own place alone for the weekend.
If you have young children sometimes a date night or date weekend can be hard to fit in. Date moments are a perfect solution. Every couple can have date moments as part of their daily routines. Date moments can be 60 seconds to 30 minutes of spending time together. Date moments help to keep relationships alive and healthy. Here are a few date moment ideas.
Creative Date Moments
- A passionate kiss when you get home
- Slow Dance in the kitchen to your wife’s favorite song
- A quick prayer together
- Deck or Patio time after the kids go to bed
- A text or call during the day to see how the day is going and let them know you miss them
- Fire Pit time
- A bubble bath
- Drinking a glass of wine or your favorite beverage together
- Getting coffee at your favorite coffee shop
- The time before your kids games or events in the car/truck to talk or listen to music
- Talk after the kids go to bed without the TV on
- Take a walk around the block together
- Feed the kids and then eat dinner alone together
- Write a note or card to your spouse
- Intimate time after the kids are in bed
Take time this weekend to plan your date night and set up some date moments.
Be Great!
How to Reach Your Resolutions
Sticking to your resolutions and reaching them can be difficult. There are reasons that you set the resolution. You resolved to change. How do you attain the change?
To live life intentionally you have to form great habits. It takes discipline and courage to make changes and to instill great habits.
The first question to ask yourself: is the resolution you set something you really want to attain? How badly do you desire to achieve the results? To make constructive change you have to want to change. If you determine the resolution is not something you really want drop it and come up with things you are determined to change.
A habit, as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is a usual way of behaving: something that a person does often in a regular and repeated way. It takes anywhere from 18 days to 254 days to form a habit according to a study by Phillippa Lally published in the European Journal of Psychology, October 2010.
To form great habits you have to break down activities in to steps. Then you have determine what activities you need to do on a daily, weekly and monthly basis.
Getting fit and losing weight seem to be popular resolutions. The resolution may be to join a fitness center. The goal might be to lose 15 pounds. The process would be to set up the steps and determine by what date or timeline you are going to get the activity completed.
4 Stages to Attaining a Resolution
- Plan Your Steps With Target Dates
- Set Short-Term and Long Term Goals With Target Dates
- Measure Your Progress
- Reward Yourself
For example:
Step 1: Pick out 3 fitness centers to visit. Complete by 2/1, Visit Center 1 by 2/5, Center 2 by 2/7, Center 3 by 2/9
Step 3: Join fitness center of choice by 2/11
Step 4: Meet with a personal trainer to set up a workout program centered on your weight loss goals by 2/12
Step 5: Meet with nutritionist to set up a meal plan to meet your weight loss goal by 2/15
Step 6: Set targets to attain
Step 7: Put your workout days and workout times in your calendar
Step 8: Set short term goals with your trainer and nutritionist
Step 9: Take your measurements on a scheduled basis
Step 10: Celebrate when you reach a target
One of the things that is extremely valuable in keeping your resolution and hitting your goals is to create accountability. In this example if you hired a personal trainer and set weekly meetings with your nutritionist to track your progress you have created accountability. On top of that you would be paying for each of these services so if you do not show up for the workout you still have to pay.
Some of your habits might include showing up for your workout on the scheduled date and time for 60 days. Meet weekly with your nutritionist for 60 days. Take weight and body measurements weekly. Do a fitness test on a monthly basis. Shop for your food on a weekly basis.
Just a side note, if your goal is to lose weight I am personally more in favor of body measurements and body fat measurement rather than the scale. The key is not how much you weigh, but how you look. If you like the way you look, the weight does not matter. If you do prefer to use a scale, Wednesday mornings tend to be a good day to weigh yourself.
If this is one of your resolutions the first month is going to be the hardest. If you have not worked out for a while you are going to be very sore for a few weeks. That is why the fitness centers are not as crowded in February as they were in January. Many people have great intentions, but they don’t succeed because they don’t stick it out long enough to create the habit.
Set short term goals on the way to your long term goal and reward yourself. For example, you set a long-term goal to lose 3 inches on your waistline. You have an interim goal to lose 1 inch on your waist by 2/28. You hit the goal by the target date. Celebrate and reward yourself with your favorite meal or dessert.
The first 90 days are the hardest of starting anything new. Stay the course for at least 90 days. You will be on your way to creating great habits and reaching your resolutions.
Be Great!
How to Set and Attain Your Goals
A year from now you will either look back and see what you accomplished or you are going to look back and wish you had done what I am going show you. Goal setting can be done at any time during the year, but most people tend to set them on a calendar year.
Every person that has ever accomplished anything significant has used some form of goal setting. I am going to show you a system I have used and shared for years. It is very simple system, and the best part is it’s free.
Setting Goals
Step 1: Take the 6 F’s, Faith, Family, Fitness, Finances, Friends and Fun and list them on a sheet of paper or in a document on your computer or pad.
Step 2: In each of the categories list all the things you want to accomplish in each category over the next 12 months.
Step 3: Put a date that you want to accomplish the goal next to each.
Step 4: Determine what steps you need to take to accomplish the goal. List out the daily, weekly, monthly things you need to do to accomplish the goal and write them below the goal.
Step 5: Put your goals in the order of importance to you on your commitment card
Step 6: Visualize your goals often as if they have already been accomplished. If you study professional athletes, you will soon learn how powerful visualization is. The best of the best see themselves performing at optimal levels and winning their competitions before the event occurs.
Step 7: Review your goals everyday. Keep them in front of you.
You should do a monthly review of your goals to check your progress. Over the years when I have done this, I have found there are goals I had hit early, ones I was not close to and others that did not motivate me anymore. If this happens to you, here are some options. You can adjust the goal by increasing or decreasing it, or you can decide to eliminate it altogether.
Another important thing to do is to celebrate when you achieve a goal. It does not have to be something elaborate, it can be as simple as going out to eat or enjoying a good bottle of wine.
I use a Commitment Card to record my goals. The card is simply a 3 x 5 index card. Making multiple copies of your Commitment Card will allow you to access it more easily.
Commitment Cards also make great stocking stuffers at Christmas. I have given them to my kids for years. It is fun to watch your children set goals and watch them attain them.
If you like to use technology, there are many systems that can be used. You can use Goals on Track which uses the SMART method to set goals, Nozbe which is a task based system or you can store your Commitment Card in Evernote. Evernote is one of my favorite tools because it syncs amongst all my devices, and I always have my information available.
Keep your Commitment Cards. It is fun to look back over years past and see all that you have accomplished and all the things you still want to accomplish.
“Happy is the man who sets a goal and is willing to pay the price to reach it.” – Unknown
Be Great!
How To Create Great Memories
When you get together with family or friends during holidays you will often hear the phrase “remember when we…..”. It is fun to rehash memories of special things you have done together like trips you’ve taken or vacations you have been on.
Creating memories with my family is in my plan for life. My wife and I feel it is important that you create memories with your family. We had times where we gave very small gifts at Christmas and went on a trip instead. We tend to forget about the things we get, but we do remember the trips we take as a family.
The best way to create memories is to plan them. The best memories tend to be from being on vacation or doing something special.
Creating Your Memories
- Plan a vacation with your family. If you don’t plan it, most likely it will not happen.
- Go to a special game or sporting event. Go to a game of one of your kids’ favorite teams.
- Go out to dinner at a really nice restaurant as a family. Birthdays and anniversaries are great times for a special celebration.
- Go on a mission trip. Look for a mission adventure through your church.
- Study the location you are going to before you arrive. Do online research or look for a book on your destination.
- Take lots of pictures. With iPhones and Android phones you have a camera with you at all times. It is fun to look back at pictures of the memory. The picture will take you back in time.
- Use a travel journal to record what you did. Record in either a handwritten journal or an online journal memories of your trip.
What are the memories that you have with your family? What is your favorite trip or vacation you have been on? Take time tonight at dinner during the holidays to talk about your favorite memories.
Be Great!
7 Great Ways to be Grateful and Share It
November is the month we celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States. Thanksgiving means the expression of gratitude, especially to God.
This is a great month for expressing your gratitude towards others. Here is a short list of those you can express your gratitude: Your spouse, significant other, people you work with, a mentor, friends, Pastors, Priests, Rabbis, parents, relatives, neighbors, children and God.
Here are 7 ways to express your gratitude towards others:
1) Handwritten Note or Letter. We seem to have gotten away from handwritten notes and letters with the advent of the computer. One thing I have noticed is that people keep handwritten notes and letters. They usually delete electronic notes.
2) Send a Greeting Card. There is just something about getting something snail mail these days. We are used to getting a bunch of junk mail. The person you send this to will enjoy getting something different in the mail and you will probably make their day.
3) Text or Email. Sometimes just a quick text or email to someone saying you were thinking about them and are thankful for them is a pick me up.
4) Make a Video or send a picture. Today it is so easy to shoot a quick video on your phone and send it. The other idea is to find a picture of a special time with that person and send it to them with a note.
5) Post on Social Media. Post a quick message letting them know you are grateful for something they did for you.
6) Record an audio message or voice mail. This is easy to do today with a variety of apps. Record a quick message and make their day. You could even go old school and record the message on a CD.
7) Send Flowers. There used to be a commercial that said “say it with flowers”. Flowers tend to brighten up a room and touch women’s hearts.
Bonus: At Thanksgiving Dinner go around the table and say what and whom you are especially thankful for this year and why.
Have fun sharing your gratitude this month.
Be Great!
How to Get More Done in a Shorter Time
Have you ever wondered why some people get so much more done than others in a day? Why is that?
There are a lot of reasons. Some people are naturally gifted at this skill of prioritizing their time. Others have learned how to be more effective with their daily tasks.
There are some skills that you can learn to help you get more done each day. Here are some tactics:
1. Take care of yourself first
- Exercise for at least 20 – 30 minutes per day. Exercise is one of the key factors in giving you the energy you need. Many people work out first thing in the morning to start the day alert and ready to go. Some men work out during lunch to give them energy for the rest of the day.
- Sleep 7 – 9 hours. Sleep is key to being productive. The most productive people get 7 – 9 hours of sleep per night. Test this to see what works best for you. There are those that brag about how little sleep they get. Sure you can do this for periods of time, but eventually you are going to get sick or suffer burnout symptoms.
- Power naps. Many highly productive people take naps during the day to stay fresh. These are 10 -20 minute power naps. This will be dependent on your work environment. Some large companies actually have nap areas or rooms. If you can’t do this at work, you may want to experiment with it on weekends.
- Eat Well. Eat protein in the morning and as the day goes on add carbohydrates. Food consumption will depend on how many calories you burn during the day. Don’t have a huge carbohydrate load at lunch time. This will leave you feeling sluggish.
- Stay Hydrated. Drink plenty of water during the day.
2. Plan the day.
- Take time in the morning or evening before to plan your day. Take the time your prefer, either at the end of your work day or in the morning before you get started, to plan the work day and list out what you want to accomplish for the day.
- Rank you list. Rank the things you want to get done during the day from most important to least important.
- Schedule harder tasks first when fresh. Take your list and take the hardest task and get it done first.
- Take Scheduled Breaks. Schedule breaks into your day. You should take a 5 – 10 minute break every 30 – 40 minutes.
- Get away from the office for a break. Take 30 – 60 minutes to get away and have a break away from the office between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. depending on what works best for your schedule and work cycles. If nothing else just go for a walk to get some exercise and fresh air.
3. Stay focused
- Use a timer. Use a timer to remind you to take breaks. Most cell phones have timers on them.
- Turn off email and instant message reminders. The pop ups are distracting and will make you want to go off task and answer them.
- Do not answer the phone and emails when you get them. Do not start the day by answering email. Block time increments of 15 – 30 minutes in the morning and afternoon to answer emails and your phone.
- One time as many emails as possible. Trash the ones you just read and don’t need. Set an offline folder for the ones you can read later. Take action and return the ones that are important. Delegate emails that can be answered by another team member.
- Block Time for Social Media. Block 20 – 30 minutes to read social media and do posts.
- Take Scheduled Breaks every 30 – 45 minutes. Use your timer to not miss these.
- Keep a notebook and pen by you to prevent yourself from multi-tasking. As you get ideas or things you want to do jot them down so you can do them later.
4. Delegate
- Determine the value of your time. Take your annual pay and divide it by 2080. This will give you your hourly value based on a 40 hour work week. When you are going to do a task determine if it is worth it for you to do the task or to delegate it.
- Delegate the tasks to an assistant or team member that can do the task for you. If you are fortunate enough to have someone you can delegate to then make sure you are using that person’s skills effectively. Delegation can be hard because many highly efficient people usually like control. Delegation to a qualified team member will help you to get more done during the day. The sooner you learn that the sooner you will become more productive.
- Hire a virtual assistant. In today’s world of technology many people are using virtual assistants to help them be more productive.