Category Archives: Marriage

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Tips on How to Allocate Your Paycheck

The best rule I have for allocating your paycheck is the 70-10-10-10 rule. I came up with this rule years ago after reading the excellent book The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason. This book is a classic fable that gives the timeless rules for money management.

33777928_mThere are several other great resources: Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey and Money Master the Game:7 Simple steps to Financial Freedom by Tony Robbins.

The 70-10-10-10 Rule

  • The first 10% goes in a charity account. The funds in this account are disbursed at 5% to your church and the other 5% goes to charities that you are passionate about. I have found over the years that if you follow this rule you will get back much more than you give.
  • 70% goes for living expenses. Use these funds to pay your monthly living expenses. Pay credit cards off monthly and strive to keep your debt minimal.
  • 10% goes to savings and investment. The first step is to have 3 months of living expenses saved in a money market account or savings account. Max out your 401k. Any additional funds should be invested as you and your financial planner see fit based on your risk.
  • 10% goes to investing in yourself and/or business. These are funds to invest in your learning and education. These funds are for books, workshops, seminars and business retreats. They can also be used for side businesses.

A good plan is to meet with a financial advisor to help you to meet your financial goals. A good financial advisor can help you with wealth strategies, insurance strategies and tax strategies to help you to maximize your financial future. You should meet with your planner at least annually to discuss strategies and update your plan.

Be Great!

 

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How to Make Your Marriage More Successful

Are you trying at your marriage or are you committed in your marriage? Those that “try” at anything are usually not committed. They will stay with something until it gets hard. Committed means you do what ever it takes to make something work.  Those that commit generally succeed, while those that try will generally fail.

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A deep level of commitment in a marriage can lead to a lower divorce rate. According to Thomas Bradbury, Benjamin Karney and Dominik Schoebi from the Relationship Institute at UCLA couples that both people were willing to make sacrifices for the sake of the marriage were significantly more likely to have lasting and happy marriages. Of the  172 couples in the study, 78.5% were still married after 11 years and 21.5% were divorced.  This is significantly better than the average divorce rate.

Ways to make your marriage more successful:

  • Compromise.  Good marriages are not based on I win or you win.  It is not a winning or losing proposition. Commit to the relationship rather than committing to your own immediate needs and agenda. Sometimes you need to sacrifice your needs and wants.
  • Communicate. When you don’t see things eye to eye talk to your spouse. There is a good chance that your spouse can not read your mind.
  • Pray together and for each other.  Pray for strength and unity in your marriage. Pray for others and their needs on a daily basis. Men, here is a prayer for your wife.
  • Commit with actions. Let your actions reflect your commitment. Make yourself available when your spouse wants to talk. Spend time alone with your spouse. Laugh together. Have date moments. Plan for your future together.
  • Commit with words. Tell your spouse that you are committed to your marriage for the rest of your life. Tell your spouse you love them in front of your kids. Let your kids know that you and your spouse are committed to each other through thick and thin. This will put your kids at ease. They see a lot of divorce through their friends.
  • Learn your spouse’s Love Language.  There are only 5 to learn. Here is a post I did on The Language of Love.
  • Be Grateful for your spouse. What are you thankful for? Ask God to bring these things to mind. Make a list and review it often.
  • Do a check up. Ask your spouse how you are doing for him or her every 6 months. Ask what you can do to improve the relationship. 
  • Model other couples that have successful marriages. Ask a couple that has been successfully married a long time to mentor you.
  •  Renew your wedding vows every 5 – 10 years. Recommit to each other. My wife and I did this the last time, in Cana, for our 25th wedding anniversary.

These are just a few ideas to make a marriage more successful. Please feel free to share this with others.

Be Great!

 

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What is the best exercise for you?

If I were to pick one exercise to stay fit it would be walking. Walking is an exercise that almost anyone can do.

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The major benefits of walking are:

1. It helps to maintain weight.Walking will burn calories. The number of calories you burn will depend on the pace and distance of your walk.

2. Reduces the risk of coronary heart disease. According to the American Heart Association walking improves your circulation and will aid in reducing heart disease.

3. Reduces the risk of non-insulin dependent type 2 diabetes. This is  also according to the American Heart Association.

4. It supports your joints and reduces the risk of osteoporosis.  A Brigham and Women’s Hospital, Boston, study of post-menopausal women found that 30 minutes of walking each day reduced their risk of hip fractures by 40 percent.

5. It aids in digestion. According to a study  in 2008 by German researchers walking aided digestion.  Walking, they found, sped the rate at which food moved through the stomach.

6. It aids in your thinking. Walking allows you to clear your mind and think. You will get the benefit of natural endorphins being released in your body. This also improves your mood.

7. Improves your balance and coordination. This will naturally improve by adding walking on different paths and surfaces.

Walking is a great way to get started with an exercise program. If you are just starting to exercise the first thing to do is get a check up from your doctor.  This is a great thing to do annually.

There is very little equipment required to walk.  I would recommend a good pair of walking shoes to avoid foot injury. Good shoes will help you with rolling from your heel to your toe.

You can measure your distance with a pedometer or other device that measures your steps and distance. The iPhone as an example has the health app that will measure your distance.

Start out with a short walk around the block. Add distance to your walk every time you walk until you can get to at least the 30 minute mark.

Walking is great because you can do it anywhere. If you live around lakes, oceans or mountains you can plan walks to enjoy the beauty of the outdoors.

Be Great!

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How to Put Discipline in Your Life

We all want to do so many things in our lives, but we are limited by time. How we schedule our day and discipline ourselves has a big impact on whether we accomplish what we set out to do each day.

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Self discipline is hard and is something you can train yourself to get better at. Much of it is sticking to your plan and not letting others or your own self talk convince you to not get done what you want to get accomplished.

6 Areas to Commit Time and Create More Discipline

  • Faith – Commit time to prayer and go to church. Set aside time each day to pray. How many minutes/hours would you like to pray each day?  I have found early mornings and night time work best for me. Figure out your best prayer time. Don’t skip church because you want to sleep in or have other things to do on Sunday. Plan on which mass or service you attend each week.
  • Fitness – Commit time to workout. How many times per week do you want to workout? How long do you want your workouts to be? What kind of workouts do you want to do? Start with an easy workout just a few minutes per day and work your way up to longer and harder workouts.
  • Friends – Commit to spending time with friends. How often do you want to spend time with friends? Who do you want to spend time with? Set a goal of how many times per week or month you want to spend with your friends.
  • Finances – Commit time to working on your finances. The easiest thing to do is set your monthly bills on autopay. Set up your investments with monthly deductions. Most employers offer a 401k plan. This is an easy way to set aside monies for retirement and comes out of your pay pretax. Review your investment statements monthly.  Set up a quarterly and  an annual review with a financial planner.
  • Family – Commit time to your spouse and children. Plan to spend time with your family each day. Have family dinners.  Have date time or date moments with your spouse. Take time to talk to your kids and play with them.
  • Fun – Commit time to doing something fun. Get vacation and fun time planned and put in your calendar. Where would you like to go on vacation? What weekend trips would you like to go on? What fun things have you not done in a while that you would like to do?

After answering these questions for each category pull out your calendar. Block time in your calendar for each of these 6 areas. Tell your spouse or a friend what you have scheduled and what your goals are. You will have a greater chance of hitting them if you have accountability to someone other than yourself.

Be Great! 

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How to Create a More Happy Life

7 Ideas to Help You Grow in Happiness

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It seems that everyone is searching for happiness. When I Googled happiness I got 349 million results.

Is happiness something we can find or is it something that we will always be chasing? We can capture temporary happiness in the present. Many times it is a decision rather than a state. If you decide you are going to be happy your likelihood of achieving it is much higher.

You don’t have to be rich materially to be happy. I have met some very happy people in places where the people are poor economically. Many people have temporary happiness when they purchase something, but find that happiness wears out quickly and the “thing” no longer makes them happy.

I have spent time over the years pondering what makes people happy. People seem to be most happy when they are giving or doing something for others. It does not take money. It just takes your time.

Here 7 ideas to create more happiness in your life:

1) Perform daily acts of charity. During your morning reflection time think of things you can do to serve other people. What nice things can you do for one of your family members, a friend or somebody at work today?

2) Do a service project. Many employers and church organizations have projects like Habitat for Humanity, serving homeless shelters, painting projects for seniors and many other projects to help others. Do at least one of these each year.

3) Write a note to a friend or your spouse. A handwritten note can be powerful for the person receiving it. Send your spouse a love letter. Send a friend a letter letting them know how they have affected your life. Write a note to one of your children letting them know how special they are.

4) Do something fun. Go do an activity with your spouse, family or friends. Do something that you enjoy and have not done for a while.

5) Write down 5 things per day that you are grateful for. A lot of people use a gratitude journal to record these.  Gratitude is one of the keys to being happier.

6) Create Memories. Memories are created by doing things not by buying things. Things wear out, but memories last a lifetime.  Think of some of your best memories. Write them down. Talk about them with your family at your next family dinner.

7) Pray for others. Pray for the people that you know that are sick, have marital issues or have other needs on a daily basis. Prayer is powerful.

We will only find true happiness in the Lord.  We were made to know, love and serve Him.  In eternity we will find all the happiness we seek.

Be Great!

 

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7 Easy Ways to Improve Your Personal Relationships

Is Your Cell Phone Harming Your Relationships?

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Are you the spouse or friend that is sitting at the restaurant watching your spouse or friend text or tweet while sitting across from you? Is your husband checking his email, Facebook or talking with his friends via Whatsapp while you are trying to have a conversation with him?

I recently heard a woman say that she felt like she was not good enough or there must be something wrong with her because her husband is always on his phone when they are together. She wondered why he finds that his friends are so much more important and interesting than her.

Here are 7 Easy Ways to improve your marriage and relationships:

1) Turn off your cell phone at mealtime. Meal times should be conversations with people at the table. It is a great time to spend talking to your family and guests.

2) Turn off noise reminders for texts and social media sites. You will not be interrupted.  You will not be tempted to answer them immediately.

3) If you are with your spouse or friends don’t take your cell phone in to the restaurant or turn it off. There are a couple of reasons to have the phone on, either you are on call or you have small children at home.

Next time you are at a restaurant take time to look around. How many people are texting, on social media or talking on the phone? This may surprise you.

4) Don’t text or use Snapchat, Whatsapp, Twitter or other communication when you are talking with your friends or spouse. How do you think your spouse or friends feel while you are typing away as they are trying to talk to you? Or when you answer that Whatsapp text right when you get the beep while they are in mid sentence.

5) Don’t take the phone to bed. This is bad on a couple of levels. It will definitely reduce or eliminate intimacy. It will also reduce your sleep quality, especially if you leave the notifications on.

6) Don’t text your spouse or friends when they are in the same house, apartment or room as you. Talk to them.

7) Check email, texts and social media before you get home from work. Don’t get home and then immediately pull your phone out and start checking social media. Give your best to your best when you get home.

Be Great!

 

 

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A Great Way to Start Your Day

A 7 Step Morning Routine

 

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How do you start your morning? Do you have a morning routine?

You will find that your days will go better if you start with a morning routine. To get a better start to your day set up a morning routine before you head off to work. This may mean having to get up a little earlier. Getting up before everyone else gets up will enable you to have some solitude in the morning.

Here is a sample 7 Step Morning Routine:

  1. Have a cup of coffee or your favorite morning beverage pray and reflect
  2. Reflect on what you are grateful. Record it on a list or in a journal
  3. Decide what charitable acts or acts of kindness you can do for someone today
  4. Plan out your day
  5. Write a handwritten note or two to friends
  6. Workout  (If you never exercise start with short walk in the morning)
  7. Shower and have breakfast

Develop your own morning routine. Write it down and stick with it for 60 days.

Share this with a friend. Live life intentionally!

Be Great!

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How To Put More Simplicity In To Your Life

7 Ways to Simplify Your Life

 

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We all have a lot of stuff. We have so much stuff that there is over 2.35 billion square feet of self storage units in the United States. We have closets full of clothes we have not worn for years. We have multiple email accounts with hundreds or even thousands of emails. We have desks that have stacks of stuff on them. We have multiple calendars filled with appointments. Here are 7 ways to simplify all of this.

7 Ways to Simplify your Life

    1. Clean Your Closet
      • Schedule a Saturday morning to clean your closet
      • Take all the clothes and shoes you have not worn in the last year and give them away to one of your favorite charities
    2. Clean Your Email
      • Set up an offline folder for your unread email
        • Set rules for email to go to an offline folder automatically.
      • Reduce the number of emails you get in a day by unsubscribing as you receive solicitation emails
      • Delete your trash
      • Take action on email
        • Read and take action when you read the email
        • Move unwanted emails to trash
        • Move emails you want to keep to your offline folder for unread email or to Evernote to read later
    3. Clean Your Desk
      • Keep your desktop clean
      • Focus on one thing at a time
      • Purchase a simple organization system. A tray or box for working on, need to delegate, need to file and need to shred.
    4. Clean Out Your Cell Phone
      • Delete all the apps you have not used in the last 60 days
    5. Get Rid of Your Storage Unit
      • Sell everything you don’t need or give it to charity
      • Bring everything else home and save yourself the storage cost
    6. Evernote
    7. Calendar
      • Use a  calendar system
      • Use separate work and home calendars if that works better for you
      • Schedule fun things in to your calendar

Be Great!

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How to Help Your Teens Learn Goal Setting

32095149_mThis process of goal setting can be used by anyone. You can teach your kids this process and they will be way ahead of their peers. We taught our children at a young age this very simple goal setting process.

Every Christmas we put a gift in each of our children’s stockings. It is the most inexpensive gift we give them, but over the years it has proven to be one of the most valuable gifts we have given them. We give each of them a blank 3×5  card that says Goals for 2015 (The year obviously changes).  On this card they put down their goals for the coming year.

We taught them to write down 3 – 5 of their big goals that they want to achieve during the year. Then beneath the goals they write down the plan they need to put in place to obtain the goals. The plan includes what needs to be done on a daily, weekly or monthly basis.

They were taught to carry the goal card and to review it frequently. At the end of the year they knew what they achieved and where they needed to improve.

Our kids have grown up to be high achievers and I attribute a lot of this to their setting big goals. Did they hit all of their goals? No, but they certainly achieved goals they would not have if they didn’t have written goals.

This process is not just for kids, it is for everyone. You can do a goal card too. All you have to do is get a 3×5 card or small piece of paper and start the process. It’s never too late to start. Get started today!

Be Great!

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How to Create a Plan for Your Life

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Do you have a plan for your life? Is it in electronic or print form?

I teach a plan for life using of the 6 f’s: Faith, Family, Fitness, Finances, Friends and Fun. I am going to give you a format that you can use to put a plan together for your life.

There are two distinct paths I have watched people take over the years. The first path is to build your life around your career/business and the other path is to build your career/business around your life.

The first path, building your life around your career/business, usually leads to a bad ending. It often leads to burnout, health issues, a drinking or drug problem and often unfortunately divorce. This is avoidable if you choose the path of building your career/business around your life. I am going to show you how.

The first thing to do is consider how you would like to be remembered for by your wife, kids, friends and family. Make a list of what is most important to you and how you would like your wife and kids remember you.

What is the main thing that you are striving to be remembered for in your life? Write your life purpose statement from this.

Now take each of the 6 categories (Faith, Family, Fitness, Finances, Friends and Fun) and put a number on each of these based on the importance to you in your life, with 1 being highest and 6 being lowest. This is your values hierarchy.

Take each of the 6 categories using the format provided and put them in the order you choose. The next thing to do is to take each individual category and write down what this category would look like to you in a “perfect” world. Do this for all 6 categories. Here is a working document.

Now take your first category and write all the activities on a daily, weekly, monthly or annual basis that are needed to reach your vision statement in that category. Do this for all your categories. Here is a sample for a family category.

Many people like to take the 6 F’s and break them down into subcategories. For example on the family account many people like to breakdown into categories like Marriage, Children or Grandchildren and Relatives. You can create activities for each of the subcategories if you choose to make your plan for life like this.

This is your plan so you can make it any way that you want.  A plan for life is not something you can do in an hour or two. This is something that you need to schedule a whole day to go someplace offsite like a park, a lake or a place you like to think. It is also a great document to share with your spouse since you are living life together.

This is one of the most important documents that you can ever put together. Some of your life plan is in concrete, but much of it is in sand and changes as you go through different stages in your life. You want to review this document and make changes on a quarterly basis.

Pick a day every week to read your Plan for Your Life. Put it in your calendar to make sure it happens.

Be Great!