Category Archives: Fun

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Good Questions to Ask to Have Conversations with Your Teens

Great Places to Have Conversations with your teens

Hot Tub Family

A friend of mine told me that when you have teenagers you have to get a hot tub. I asked him why. He said they will talk to you in the hot tub.

So I bought a hot tub and found out that he was absolutely correct. Over the years we have had great conversations in the hot tub. My wife and I have learned about school, their teams, their friends and what was going on in their lives. We talked about religion, politics and lots of sports depending on the season. Now when they come home to visit we spend a little time in the hot tub at night.

The dinner table is another great place to have discussions. It is important to have family dinners. It is a place to discuss how the day went and hear what they learned during the day.

Time in the SUV was another place that my wife and I have had great conversations with the kids. Growing up my kids were involved in a lot of activities and drive time gave us time to talk one on one with them or as a family. It was also interesting to have or listen to conversations when their teammates or friends were in the SUV.

We also had boats as the kids grew up and we would spend weekend time in the boat. Sometimes we would just float and swim off the boat. My wife and I would engage the kids in conversations on a wide variety of topics.

What do these all have in common? They all are confined spaces. Sure they can get up and leave the dinner table or they can get out of the hot tub. It is kind of hard to get out of a moving vehicle or a boat in the middle of the lake. They are also spaces where everyone tends to be relaxed.

Now once you are in one of these places the next question is, what do you ask them? I can tell you that you do not want to ask the question, “How was your day?”. You will get a one word answer and the conversation is over. I know this from experience. Ask questions that require more than a one word response. It is also important that you share about what is going on in your work and life as well.

Here are some good questions.

What did you learn today?
What was the best thing that happened today?
What did you do at practice? This can be for a sport or activity.
What are you going to do this weekend?
Tell me about how it is going at school.
How are your friends? What are they doing this summer? (Ask about them by name so they know you know who their friends are and that you truly care)
What do you want to do when you get out of high school or college? Why?
What do you think of …….?
What is your toughest class in school?
Tell me how your calculus class is going? What are you learning? (Or any other subject)

Always come back to the things you talked about previously so they know you listened and that you are engaged in the conversations.

Be Great!

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Time Tested Travel Tips

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I have traveled quite a bit over the last 10 years. There are a few things I have learned to make travel safer and easier.

One of the best decisions I made was to get TSA Precheck. The cost is only $85 and it saves time getting through security at the airport. You get to keep your shoes, belts and jackets on as well. If you travel internationally the Global Entry Program makes re-entering the United States much easier. The cost of Global Entry is $100.

I keep a travel folder in my carry-on bag. The folder is a plastic folder that I print and keep my flight information, rental car reservation and hotel reservations. I also keep a photocopy of my passport in the folder in case I were to lose my passport. It’s always a good idea to leave a copy of your itinerary with someone.

I carry my driver’s license in my wallet and I bring my passport as a backup photo id. I carry the passport in my backpack or briefcase. Inside my passport I keep a credit card and cash in case my wallet is lost or stolen during travel.

When I park at the airport I like to park inside to avoid any potential damage to my vehicle. I live in an area that has hail, snow and ice storms. I take a picture of the sign for the level and area I parked to remember where I parked. There are some airline apps that have a feature to mark where you parked as well.

I do recommend downloading the apps for the airlines you use most frequently. You can get gate info and your boarding pass on the app. If you have an iPhone you can save the boarding pass to your Passbook app.

If you spend a lot of time in airports joining one of the clubs is a good idea. They are a good place to relax and the chairs are very comfortable. Many of them have free snack food and beverages. They have nice bathrooms, some with showers. Most of them have work stations available too. The American Express Centurion Lounges are extremely nice. They are only in New York, Dallas, San Francisco and Las Vegas at this time. These are great for longer layovers.

I travel with a backpack. I have found that by putting the load on both shoulders rather than one is easier on my back. I use a Tumi backpack. I have had it for several years and it has held up well. It has plenty of room with plenty of pockets and I can actually carry two laptops. It has a zippered pouch for the laptop so you don’t have to remove it from the bag at most security check points.

If you are traveling with a companion, check to see how full the flight is when you book it. If the plane has lots of seating available, and has three seat rows, book the two outside seats leaving the middle seat empty. Many times you will have an extra empty seat in the middle giving you extra room.

It works well to carry on bags to save time and not have to worry about losing your bag. I use a 22” Eagle Creek suitcase. I also use the Eagle Creek Pack Bags to hold my shirts, underwear, socks and workout gear.

To make it easier to get your bag on and off the plane put your bag in the overhead across from your seating. It is much easier to get your bag out than to have it above your seat.

I always carry extra power sources and power cords. I keep a portable external battery charger in case I am running low on power on my iPhone or iPad. They work for android devices as well. I like to keep these in a separate bag with all the cords and chargers in my backpack.

When traveling you never know when you are going to have delays and at times you may miss a meal or two. I like to carry two protein bars and some almonds in a plastic bag just in case I am running tight on connections. I also carry Starbucks Via instant coffee packs. They come in quite a few flavors. All you need is hot water and you have some good coffee.

If you are traveling over the weekend plan out the church you are going to attend. There are lots of websites to do this. For my Catholic friends you can find mass times at masstimes.org.

I hope these ideas help you on your next trip.

Be Great!

“Your presence is a present.” – Ramona Wifvat

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Are you dating your spouse?

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Many couples have a date night every week. This is a special night every week that the couple goes out and does something together.

Date nights for many couples are nights marked on the calendar that are kept no matter what.   These are important. They allow the couple to have time together to talk and spend time alone.

Another form of this are date weekends.  Couples should get away at least 3 – 4 times a year. This may be a staycation. Somebody takes the kids and you just stay at your own place alone for the weekend.

It could be a night or two at a local hotel or resort. This can also be a weekend get away out of town.  My wife and I recently did one of these and we had a great weekend.

If you have young children sometimes a date night or date weekend can be hard to fit in. The date moment is the perfect solution. I think every couple with young kids or older with no kids at home should work date moments in to their daily routines. Date moments can be 60 seconds to 30 minutes of spending time together.  Date moments help to keep relationships alive and healthy. Here are a few ideas.

Creative Date Moments

  • A passionate kiss when you get home
  • Slow Dance in the kitchen to your wife’s favorite song
  • A quick prayer together
  • Deck or Patio time after the kids go to bed
  • A text or call during the day to see how the day is going and let them know you miss them
  • Fire Pit time
  • A bubble bath
  • Drinking a glass of wine or your favorite beverage together
  • Stopping and getting coffee on your way to an event or the store
  • The time before your kids games or events in the car/truck to talk or listen to music
  • Talk after the kids go to bed without the TV on
  • Take a walk around the block
  • Feed the kids and then eat dinner alone together
  • Write a note or card to your spouse
  • Intimate time after the kids are in bed

These are just a few ideas. I would be interested to hear about your date moment ideas. Please share this on your Facebook or Twitter.

Be Great!

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Something You Can Try For Thanksgiving

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When our kids were young, my wife and I decided to have special Sunday dinners.  A lot of times we would have Sunday dinners in the dining room to make them more formal. We also did this to teach the kids how to eat with the proper utensils and use proper manners, it was a mini etiquette class. There was one plate on the table however that was different than all the rest. You can see our special plate above. It has a little wear and tear on it.

We were at a store one time and there was a colorful plate that caught my eye.  I had an idea. This would be the “special plate”.  The special plate is a plate that only one person at the table gets.

The way the special plate works is one person gets the plate. During the meal the other people at the table go around and tell the person that has the special plate why they are special. The goal is for it to be something truly special and unique about that person, not something general. An example would be, “Aly is special because she has a huge heart and always sees the best in people”.

I will tell you this can be challenging with brothers and sisters, especially with the boys saying something nice about their sister.

If we had a guest, the special plate went to the guest. One time we had a guest over for dinner and we gave him the special plate. The family went around the table telling him why he was special. He was so moved that he started to tear up.

When it is someone’s birthday they always get the special plate.  One of their gifts is to hear from the family why they are special. This is a great gift for the person being told why they are special. It’s a safe time to really express what you think is unique about that family member in a genuine way.

Get a “special plate” for your family and test it out this week. If you don’t have children at home anymore, get one for the grandchildren.

Please share this with anyone you think would benefit. Thanks.

Be Great!

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How to Reduce the Time You Spend on Your Smart Phone

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How much time do you spend on email, texting and social media per day? I know some of you get over 150 emails a day, have multiple calls and conference calls every day, manage social media sites and are constantly multitasking with different technological devices.

The average person who uses a computer for work checks email 37 times per day. Every time you check email you have to reengage with what you were focused on prior to answering the sound or pop up.

Have you ever been out to a restaurant and noticed how many people are talking on their phones, texting or surfing the web? I was recently at a business lunch with 12 people, 10 of the 12 were on their cell phones checking email at the same time during the meal. Do you think they were engaged in the conversation?

Signs that You Spend Too Much Time on Your Smart Phone

1. You spend hours a day on your phone texting, on calls and checking social media.
2. You check your cell phone more than 5 times per hour
3. Your spouse or kids are texting you when you are in the same room.
4. You are out to lunch or dinner with your spouse or friends and you spend more time on the phone than talking with your spouse or friends.
5. You have to take your phone to bed with you to make sure you don’t miss a text or email during the night.

How to Reduce the Time You Spend on Your Smart Phone

1. Shut off notifications for Email, Texts. You can put your phone on do not disturb or night mode.
2. Don’t check work email after you get home or set a time if you work from home. Check your email before you get home.
3. Block out time in your calendar for times of the day you check email and social media sites. Take 15 minute increments during the day to return emails and check social media.
4. Leave cell phones, tablets and computers out of the bedroom. One exception would be using a tablet or Kindle if you read before bed. The other situation is some of you have kids that are out with friends and you want to be accessible. Once they get home turn the phone off.
5. Limit time on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn. Block times to do social media during the day. You want to avoid letting these sites consume you. Set a time limit.
6. Shut your phone off at night. Again you might have exceptions to this if you are on call or have kids out with friends.
7. Don’t text and drive. This is extremely dangerous. Look around you as you are driving down the interstate. How many people do you see on their phones texting? What is really scary is when they have a cup of coffee one hand, their phone in the other and they are the driver.

At dinner tonight turn off all the cell phones and put them on the counter before you go to the table. If you are out to dinner with business associates, friends or family turn the phone off or put it on do not disturb. Be present with the person or people you are with.

Please share this with someone you feel might benefit.

Be Great!

“Live your dream, and wear your passion.” – Holstee Manifesto

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How to Create Great Memories


When you get together with family or friends during holidays you will often hear the phrase “remember when we…..”. It is fun to rehash memories of special things you have done together like trips you’ve taken or vacations you have been on.

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Creating memories with my family is in my plan for life. My wife and I feel it is important that you create memories with your family. We had times where we gave very small gifts at Christmas and went on a trip instead. We tend to forget about the things we get, but we do remember the trips we take as a family.

The best way to create memories is to plan them. The best memories tend to be from being on vacation or doing something special.

Creating Your Memories

  1. Plan a vacation with your family. If you don’t plan it, most likely it will not happen.
  2. Go to a special game or sporting event. Go to a game of one of your kids’ favorite teams.
  3. Go out to dinner at a really nice restaurant as a family. Birthdays and anniversaries are great times for a special celebration.
  4. Go on a mission trip. Look for a mission adventure through your church.
  5. Study the location you are going to before you arrive. Do online research or look for a book on your destination.
  6. Take lots of pictures. With iPhones and Android phones you have a camera with you at all times. It is fun to look back at pictures of the memory. The picture will take you back in time.
  7. Use a travel journal to record what you did. Record in either a handwritten journal or an online journal memories of your trip.

What are the memories that you have with your family? What is your favorite trip or vacation you have been on? Take time tonight at dinner during the holidays to talk about your favorite memories.

Be Great!

“Time is the most precious gift we have.”

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Raising Kids That Grow Up and Still Like You

7191174_mlOne of the great things about raising kids is watching them grow up to be adults. What is even better is when they still like you when they grow up. I am not an expert at this, but I do have some things my wife and I have done over the years. We have 4 adult children that still like us and like to do things with us.

One of the mistakes that I see people make is that they try to be friends with their kids as they are growing up. Kids don’t need another friend, they need a parent. Being a parent can be tough. The kids don’t arrive with an instruction manual.

Provide a safe environment at home. Create a bond of trust so that your kids can talk to you about anything. They need to know that the home is a safe place. They need to know that they can talk to you about anything and you are not going to berate them or get extremely mad at them for telling you things. Over the years my wife learned a lot of things from my boys that I am sure she would rather have not have known by having a safe environment to talk.

Have rules and stick to them. You have to stick to your house rules. If there is a violation of the rules they have to be enforced. I was talking to one of my relatives recently and he related a story of when his daughter was 16 and he and his wife were out of town. The daughter had a party at the house and did not think they would find out. He noticed a few things around the house and that his bagged ice was all gone. She stuck to her guns and said she did not have anyone over. When he started to take her around the house and point things out she finally broke down and told the truth. She did not get her driver’s license for 6 months as a punishment. It was hard, but he stuck to it. She was punished for having the party, but she was punished much more for having lied about it. It was a good life lesson for her.

Let them know you are not perfect. If you make a mistake admit it. Your kids need to realize that you make mistakes too. Transparency in this area is very important for creating trust.

Spend time with each of them individually. In the plan for my life I had a statement in it that I would spend time every day with my kids individually. As they got older and as I traveled more this became harder, but I still make an effort to speak to them at least weekly, if not a few times a week.
My wife and I made an effort to do things with the kids as a group and individually. There were family trips, guy trips, girl trips and times we spent taking them to events in the car by themselves.

Share life stories or lessons. When your kids are struggling or have an issue, talk it through with them, listen and relate life lessons that you may have experienced. This is a way of letting them know that they are not alone and you had struggles too

Have family dinner as frequently as possible. There is not much that bonds a family more than having a meal together. This is a time to talk about the day. A great conversation starter is to play high/low. What was the best thing that happened to you today? What is something that could have gone better that day? Mom and dad need to participate too.

Have family nights. This can be a game night or a movie night. Spend time as a family. Saturday or Sunday nights are great for these fun nights.

Pray with them. Pray as a family at meal times. Pray with your kids when you put them to bed.

Talk to your kids frequently. As you kids get older you need to learn how they like to communicate. Many kids today use texting or use an app like Snapchat or WhatsApp. Find out how they like to communicate and learn to use the application.

Please share this with anyone you feel would benefit.

Be Great!