Monthly Archives: February 2015

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Give Your Best To Your Best

family-playing-soccer

 

We occupy most of our days at work. We spend a lot of time with the people we work with.  How do you treat the people you work with?  Do you treat them better than your husband, wife, significant other or kids?

Who are you giving your best to?  Are you leaving your best at work or are you giving it to those that are closest to you at home?

Many of you tend to work late.  Set a time to leave work by and stick to it. An example would be to be out the door by 5:30 p.m. If necessary have a plan that you have discussed with your spouse or significant other that you intend to work late one night a week and let them know when that night is planned.

Before you get home stop and clear email on your phone, return any calls that need to be made and check any websites you need to check.  Stop at a parking lot or a store near your home.  Better yet, do this before you leave work.

I have known and coached people that have a card on the dash of their car or visor that says “Give Your Best To Your Best.”

Give Your Best to Your Best

Here is what to do tonight when you get home. When you walk in the door to your house or apartment forget about work and give your best to your best. Be present.  Hug your spouse, play with your kids and have dinner together.

If you like this post please share it with somebody you think would benefit from it.

Be Great!

“It is all about the little things.”

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Your Kids Are Watching You

man opening door

Have you ever heard the song by Rodney Atkins entitled Watching You? In the song the dad is driving with his son in the truck and his son spills his fries and orange drink and says sh**. The dad wonders where he learned this and figures out it is what he says.

Leadership starts at home. Your children learn from you by watching you. They learn a lot more by doing as you do than doing as you say.

Some Do’s and Don’ts

Show signs of affection to your wife or husband in front of your children

Your children want to know that you love your spouse. They want to see that you care for each other. This gives them assurances that you love each other.

Men – Open doors for wife and let them go before you

Real Men do this. You can tell by the picture above that this has been going on for a long time. You don’t see it as frequently today. This is being respectful of your wife.

Hold Hands

There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a couple in their 70’s or 80’s walking hand in hand. When you hold hands it shows your children you are together. You are bonded.

Do special things for your spouse that your kids are aware that you did

Buy something small for your spouse and give it to your spouse in front of your kids. Give your spouse a card that your kids see. Do an act of kindness for your spouse in the presence of your children.

Pray with your spouse and your kids

Like the song your kids will copy you. They will pray on their own and they will pray when they leave home.

Hug your kids and tell them you love them

Let your kids know you love them. Dads hug your boys too. Even the big boys like it.

Pay attention to who your children are spending their time with

It is said you are the average of the 5 people you are around the most. It is extremely important that you pay attention to who your kids friends are. One of the ways to do that is create an environment that kids want to hang out at your house. Have them invite their friends over to spend time at your house so you can see who they are spending time with.

Don’t yell or belittle your spouse in front of your children

This should be avoided. Belittling makes it ok for the kids to belittle mom or dad. If one of the kids is belittling their mom it should be stopped by dad right away. This only gets worse as kids turn in to teens if you let this go.

Don’t have a fight or argue in front of your kids

Take the argument behind closed doors. Kids feel insecure when their parents fight in front of them and feel that their parents don’t love each other. In todays world with the number of parents getting divorced the kids will think you are headed down that path.

Don’t use profanity in front of your children

If you have a favorite swear word or phrase your kids will copy it. There is nothing like a 4 year old letting a 4 letter word go at the wrong time. There are over 200,000 words in the dictionary. Choose a different word or phrase to say.

I have had the privilege with my wife of raising 4 children over the last 24 years. The do’s and don’ts above are things I have learned over the years. I have been fortunate enough to see some of the benefits of these.

We see our boys treating women with respect, holding doors, letting women go first and keeping their faith. We see our girls keeping their faith and knowing how a woman should be treated by a man. They also know how a wife should treat her husband and how they respect one another.

Remember your kids are watching what you do and what you say.

Be Great!

 

“As Lent is the time for greater love, listen to Jesus’ thirst…’Repent and believe’ Jesus tells us. What are we to repent? Our indifference, our hardness of heart. What are we to believe? Jesus thirsts even now, in your heart and in the poor — He knows your weakness. He wants only your love, wants only the chance to love you.” — Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

 

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”  –Abraham Lincoln

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Living in Gratitude

Gratitude

What are your daily gratitude habits? Do you take time to review what you are grateful for every day?

Developing gratitude is easier said than done. It takes discipline to develop gratitude. Here are some ways to help develop your gratitude.

Start a gratitude list

This is a list that has things you are grateful for such as your health, the home or apartment you live in, your spouse, friends, talents that you have, your job, etc. Review this list as frequently as you would like. Your morning reflection time is a great time to review your gratitude list.

Start a gratitude journal

This is a journal to record what you are grateful for during the day or the week. This is yours so you can use it daily, several times a week or weekly. Some people like to keep the journal in written form while others like to use electronic formats. My favorite electronic format is Day One online journal . It is available in iTunes. The nice thing is that it syncs between all your devices. You can also take pictures for memories.

Gratitude Letter or Recording

Send a letter or a voice recording to someone that you are grateful for in you life and why you are grateful. This is extremely powerful and will have an impact on that persons day. You could even record a video to make it even more personal.

I strongly encourage you to start today with this video called “A Good Day” with Brother David Steindl-Rast. It will change the way you look at your day. Just click on “A Good Day” above to go to the video.

Brother Steindl-Rast has a website Gratefulness.org. He has a lot of material on gratitude on the site. You might also enjoy his TEDx talk Want to be happy? Be grateful.

Leading researcher on gratitude, Robert A. Emmons PhD, psychology professor and researcher, University of California, Davis has an excellent book to help you to develop a habit of gratitude. The book Gratitude Works!: A 21-Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity is an excellent way to help you get started on a gratitude journey.

Dr. Emmons has an excellent website. There is a Gratitude Questionairre that you can take to measure your gratitude.

Some Key Benefits of Gratitude

  • Healthier
  • Reduced Stress
  • Better Immune Function
  • Improved Relationships
  • Better Sleep
  • Content with what you have

One of the best places to reflect on gratitude is in the outdoors. It may be at sunrise or sunset. It may be overlooking a lake, the ocean or looking at mountains. Many people get a better sense of what to be thankful for when they are observing nature.

Some of my best lessons in gratitude have been on mission trips. I went with my wife and my two youngest children on a trip to Haiti. It was 3 years after the earthquake.IMG_1077

The streets were still in shambles. Thousands of people were living in tent cities. There was limited power. There was gunfire going off all night. There was no hot water and you certainly did not want to drink the water.

We worked with the Missionaries of Charity at a home for the dying. We saw children and adults dying from tuberculosis and AIDS. My son gave the young boy pictured above his favorite Boston Red Sox hat at the home.

We worked at a wounds clinic. There were patients that walked miles to get treated. Many of them would have been in a hospital if they were in the United States. If they had clean water and soap these wounds would have never festered and become as horrible as they were. We worked at an orphanage that had children with illnesses that could have been cured with access to doctors and the proper medications.

Upon returning from this trip I reflected on how much material things my family and I have and all the blessings we have. There was certainly a lot to contemplate and be thankful for. We live in a country that has freedoms. We have clean water coming out of a tap. It can be hot or cold. We have electricity at the flip of a switch. We have air conditioning for hot weather and heat for cold weather. We can go to the grocery store and buy just about any kind of food we could want.

“If you are grateful you act out of a sense of enough and not a sense of scarcity.” —Br. David Steindl-Rast

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7 Step Morning Routine

coffee at sunrise

How do you start your morning? Do you have a morning routine?

You will find that your days will be better if you start better. To start better, set up a morning routine before you head off to work. It may mean having to get up earlier. You will find if you take time for yourself and set up your day before you get in the busyness of the world your days will go much better.

I know some of you have young kids and this can be challenging. My challenge to you would be to get up 30 – 60 minutes before everyone else and have your quiet time.

Here is a sample 7 Step Morning Routine:

  1. Have a cup of coffee and pray
  2. Reflect on what you are grateful for
  3. What charitable acts or acts of kindness can you do for someone today
  4. Plan out your day
  5. Workout
  6. Shower
  7. Have Breakfast

Develop a morning routine. Write it down and stick with it for 30 days. Live intentionally!

Be Great!