“The more you give, the more you will receive and have.”
Monthly Archives: May 2015
The Language of Love
“The object of love is not getting something you want, but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.” – Gary Chapman
Gary Chapman wrote an excellent book titled The Five Love Languages, The Secret to Love That Lasts. Every couple should know the 5 love languages and which ones are their spouses top 2. It is also important to know the love language of your children as well.
The 5 love languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. All of us have a little of each of these love languages, but we all tend to have one or two dominant love languages. Here are some ideas that have been adapted from the book to help show love in each of the languages.
1. Words of Affirmation.
- If this is your spouse or child’s love language continue to remind yourself that words are important to them
- Keep track of what words of affirmation you gave each day for a week. Keep yourself accountable
- Set a goal to give your spouse or child a positive affirmation daily for a month
- Listen to hear how others give positive statements and write them down or keep them electronically
- Write a love note or card
- Compliment your spouse or child in front of their friends
- Tell your spouse how much you appreciate their strengths or something they have accomplished
- Tell your children how great their mom or dad is
- I included children in this one because they need the affirmation, especially your daughters. A father’s affirmation has a huge impact on a young girl’s self confidence and self esteem. Boy’s are tough, but they like to hear positive affirmations from their parents too.
2. Quality Time
- Take a walk together. Go to a park or a trail
- Plan a weekly date night and do the things your spouse likes to do
- Buy tickets to something your spouse enjoys
- Go on a weekend get away
- Share your days events with each other
- Take time to sit down and talk every day
- Talk about your favorite memories about things you have done and places you have traveled
- Have date moments
3. Receiving Gifts
- Fill his or her love tank. Provide a series of gifts in a day.
- Pick a flower as you are going on a walk and give it to your wife
- Give a small gift every day for a week
- Keep a gift idea log written or electronic
- Record his or her sizes for gift shopping
- Choose a book and read it together
- Give a gift to charity in your spouse’s name or honor
- Take your spouse to his or her favorite restaurant
- A favorite candy/food or a book works just as well as something expensive
4. Acts of Service
- Write down all the requests your spouse has requested from you to do around the house and do some of them
- Give your spouse a love note accompanied with an act of service
- Do a chore around the house that your spouse does not enjoy
- Fix something or do a chore that your spouse has complained about. If you don’t have the time or expertise hire someone to do it for you
- Ask your spouse what they need done around the house
5. Physical Touch
- Hold your spouses hand
- Touch your spouse at different times during the day or evening
- Give your spouse a back or foot rub
- Give your spouse a shoulder massage
- Give your spouse a hug and kiss when they get home
- Hug your spouse, especially in front of your children. It tends to embarrass them, but it also gives them the comfort that you love each other
- Hold your spouses hand or put your arm around him or her when you are out with friends
- Enjoy intimacy with your spouse
Take the Five Love Languages profile. There is a profile for husbands and a separate profile for wives. You will receive an email with the ranking of your top 5 Love Languages. This gives you the opportunity to talk to your spouse about what his or her love languages are and will help you to work on them.
Remember that relationships are built more around giving than receiving. Lots of relationships and marriages fall apart because one spouse was a good receiver and did not give much back to the other spouse. Relationships are never 50/50. They can be 100/0 at times, but 100/0 relationships are not built to last.
Learn your spouse’s and children’s love languages and you will be on your way to more fulfilling love relationships.
Please share this with someone you think might get some value.
Be Great!
“It’s not what you think you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not.”
Time Tested Travel Tips
I have traveled quite a bit over the last 10 years. There are a few things I have learned to make travel safer and easier.
One of the best decisions I made was to get TSA Precheck. The cost is only $85 and it saves time getting through security at the airport. You get to keep your shoes, belts and jackets on as well. If you travel internationally the Global Entry Program makes re-entering the United States much easier. The cost of Global Entry is $100.
I keep a travel folder in my carry-on bag. The folder is a plastic folder that I print and keep my flight information, rental car reservation and hotel reservations. I also keep a photocopy of my passport in the folder in case I were to lose my passport. It’s always a good idea to leave a copy of your itinerary with someone.
I carry my driver’s license in my wallet and I bring my passport as a backup photo id. I carry the passport in my backpack or briefcase. Inside my passport I keep a credit card and cash in case my wallet is lost or stolen during travel.
When I park at the airport I like to park inside to avoid any potential damage to my vehicle. I live in an area that has hail, snow and ice storms. I take a picture of the sign for the level and area I parked to remember where I parked. There are some airline apps that have a feature to mark where you parked as well.
I do recommend downloading the apps for the airlines you use most frequently. You can get gate info and your boarding pass on the app. If you have an iPhone you can save the boarding pass to your Passbook app.
If you spend a lot of time in airports joining one of the clubs is a good idea. They are a good place to relax and the chairs are very comfortable. Many of them have free snack food and beverages. They have nice bathrooms, some with showers. Most of them have work stations available too. The American Express Centurion Lounges are extremely nice. They are only in New York, Dallas, San Francisco and Las Vegas at this time. These are great for longer layovers.
I travel with a backpack. I have found that by putting the load on both shoulders rather than one is easier on my back. I use a Tumi backpack. I have had it for several years and it has held up well. It has plenty of room with plenty of pockets and I can actually carry two laptops. It has a zippered pouch for the laptop so you don’t have to remove it from the bag at most security check points.
If you are traveling with a companion, check to see how full the flight is when you book it. If the plane has lots of seating available, and has three seat rows, book the two outside seats leaving the middle seat empty. Many times you will have an extra empty seat in the middle giving you extra room.
It works well to carry on bags to save time and not have to worry about losing your bag. I use a 22” Eagle Creek suitcase. I also use the Eagle Creek Pack Bags to hold my shirts, underwear, socks and workout gear.
To make it easier to get your bag on and off the plane put your bag in the overhead across from your seating. It is much easier to get your bag out than to have it above your seat.
I always carry extra power sources and power cords. I keep a portable external battery charger in case I am running low on power on my iPhone or iPad. They work for android devices as well. I like to keep these in a separate bag with all the cords and chargers in my backpack.
When traveling you never know when you are going to have delays and at times you may miss a meal or two. I like to carry two protein bars and some almonds in a plastic bag just in case I am running tight on connections. I also carry Starbucks Via instant coffee packs. They come in quite a few flavors. All you need is hot water and you have some good coffee.
If you are traveling over the weekend plan out the church you are going to attend. There are lots of websites to do this. For my Catholic friends you can find mass times at masstimes.org.
I hope these ideas help you on your next trip.
Be Great!
“Your presence is a present.” – Ramona Wifvat
Are you dating your spouse?
Many couples have a date night every week. This is a special night every week that the couple goes out and does something together.
Date nights for many couples are nights marked on the calendar that are kept no matter what. These are important. They allow the couple to have time together to talk and spend time alone.
Another form of this are date weekends. Couples should get away at least 3 – 4 times a year. This may be a staycation. Somebody takes the kids and you just stay at your own place alone for the weekend.
It could be a night or two at a local hotel or resort. This can also be a weekend get away out of town. My wife and I recently did one of these and we had a great weekend.
If you have young children sometimes a date night or date weekend can be hard to fit in. The date moment is the perfect solution. I think every couple with young kids or older with no kids at home should work date moments in to their daily routines. Date moments can be 60 seconds to 30 minutes of spending time together. Date moments help to keep relationships alive and healthy. Here are a few ideas.
Creative Date Moments
- A passionate kiss when you get home
- Slow Dance in the kitchen to your wife’s favorite song
- A quick prayer together
- Deck or Patio time after the kids go to bed
- A text or call during the day to see how the day is going and let them know you miss them
- Fire Pit time
- A bubble bath
- Drinking a glass of wine or your favorite beverage together
- Stopping and getting coffee on your way to an event or the store
- The time before your kids games or events in the car/truck to talk or listen to music
- Talk after the kids go to bed without the TV on
- Take a walk around the block
- Feed the kids and then eat dinner alone together
- Write a note or card to your spouse
- Intimate time after the kids are in bed
These are just a few ideas. I would be interested to hear about your date moment ideas. Please share this on your Facebook or Twitter.
Be Great!
“Stop actually thinking about winning and losing and instead focus on those daily activities that cause success.” –Nick Saban