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How to Create a More Happy Life

7 Ideas to Help You Grow in Happiness

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It seems that everyone is searching for happiness. When I Googled happiness I got 349 million results.

Is happiness something we can find or is it something that we will always be chasing? We can capture temporary happiness in the present. Many times it is a decision rather than a state. If you decide you are going to be happy your likelihood of achieving it is much higher.

You don’t have to be rich materially to be happy. I have met some very happy people in places where the people are poor economically. Many people have temporary happiness when they purchase something, but find that happiness wears out quickly and the “thing” no longer makes them happy.

I have spent time over the years pondering what makes people happy. People seem to be most happy when they are giving or doing something for others. It does not take money. It just takes your time.

Here 7 ideas to create more happiness in your life:

1) Perform daily acts of charity. During your morning reflection time think of things you can do to serve other people. What nice things can you do for one of your family members, a friend or somebody at work today?

2) Do a service project. Many employers and church organizations have projects like Habitat for Humanity, serving homeless shelters, painting projects for seniors and many other projects to help others. Do at least one of these each year.

3) Write a note to a friend or your spouse. A handwritten note can be powerful for the person receiving it. Send your spouse a love letter. Send a friend a letter letting them know how they have affected your life. Write a note to one of your children letting them know how special they are.

4) Do something fun. Go do an activity with your spouse, family or friends. Do something that you enjoy and have not done for a while.

5) Write down 5 things per day that you are grateful for. A lot of people use a gratitude journal to record these.  Gratitude is one of the keys to being happier.

6) Create Memories. Memories are created by doing things not by buying things. Things wear out, but memories last a lifetime.  Think of some of your best memories. Write them down. Talk about them with your family at your next family dinner.

7) Pray for others. Pray for the people that you know that are sick, have marital issues or have other needs on a daily basis. Prayer is powerful.

We will only find true happiness in the Lord.  We were made to know, love and serve Him.  In eternity we will find all the happiness we seek.

Be Great!

 

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7 Easy Ways to Improve Your Personal Relationships

Is Your Cell Phone Harming Your Relationships?

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Are you the spouse or friend that is sitting at the restaurant watching your spouse or friend text or tweet while sitting across from you? Is your husband checking his email, Facebook or talking with his friends via Whatsapp while you are trying to have a conversation with him?

I recently heard a woman say that she felt like she was not good enough or there must be something wrong with her because her husband is always on his phone when they are together. She wondered why he finds that his friends are so much more important and interesting than her.

Here are 7 Easy Ways to improve your marriage and relationships:

1) Turn off your cell phone at mealtime. Meal times should be conversations with people at the table. It is a great time to spend talking to your family and guests.

2) Turn off noise reminders for texts and social media sites. You will not be interrupted.  You will not be tempted to answer them immediately.

3) If you are with your spouse or friends don’t take your cell phone in to the restaurant or turn it off. There are a couple of reasons to have the phone on, either you are on call or you have small children at home.

Next time you are at a restaurant take time to look around. How many people are texting, on social media or talking on the phone? This may surprise you.

4) Don’t text or use Snapchat, Whatsapp, Twitter or other communication when you are talking with your friends or spouse. How do you think your spouse or friends feel while you are typing away as they are trying to talk to you? Or when you answer that Whatsapp text right when you get the beep while they are in mid sentence.

5) Don’t take the phone to bed. This is bad on a couple of levels. It will definitely reduce or eliminate intimacy. It will also reduce your sleep quality, especially if you leave the notifications on.

6) Don’t text your spouse or friends when they are in the same house, apartment or room as you. Talk to them.

7) Check email, texts and social media before you get home from work. Don’t get home and then immediately pull your phone out and start checking social media. Give your best to your best when you get home.

Be Great!

 

 

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A Great Way to Start Your Day

A 7 Step Morning Routine

 

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How do you start your morning? Do you have a morning routine?

You will find that your days will go better if you start with a morning routine. To get a better start to your day set up a morning routine before you head off to work. This may mean having to get up a little earlier. Getting up before everyone else gets up will enable you to have some solitude in the morning.

Here is a sample 7 Step Morning Routine:

  1. Have a cup of coffee or your favorite morning beverage pray and reflect
  2. Reflect on what you are grateful. Record it on a list or in a journal
  3. Decide what charitable acts or acts of kindness you can do for someone today
  4. Plan out your day
  5. Write a handwritten note or two to friends
  6. Workout  (If you never exercise start with short walk in the morning)
  7. Shower and have breakfast

Develop your own morning routine. Write it down and stick with it for 60 days.

Share this with a friend. Live life intentionally!

Be Great!

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How To Put More Simplicity In To Your Life

7 Ways to Simplify Your Life

 

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We all have a lot of stuff. We have so much stuff that there is over 2.35 billion square feet of self storage units in the United States. We have closets full of clothes we have not worn for years. We have multiple email accounts with hundreds or even thousands of emails. We have desks that have stacks of stuff on them. We have multiple calendars filled with appointments. Here are 7 ways to simplify all of this.

7 Ways to Simplify your Life

    1. Clean Your Closet
      • Schedule a Saturday morning to clean your closet
      • Take all the clothes and shoes you have not worn in the last year and give them away to one of your favorite charities
    2. Clean Your Email
      • Set up an offline folder for your unread email
        • Set rules for email to go to an offline folder automatically.
      • Reduce the number of emails you get in a day by unsubscribing as you receive solicitation emails
      • Delete your trash
      • Take action on email
        • Read and take action when you read the email
        • Move unwanted emails to trash
        • Move emails you want to keep to your offline folder for unread email or to Evernote to read later
    3. Clean Your Desk
      • Keep your desktop clean
      • Focus on one thing at a time
      • Purchase a simple organization system. A tray or box for working on, need to delegate, need to file and need to shred.
    4. Clean Out Your Cell Phone
      • Delete all the apps you have not used in the last 60 days
    5. Get Rid of Your Storage Unit
      • Sell everything you don’t need or give it to charity
      • Bring everything else home and save yourself the storage cost
    6. Evernote
    7. Calendar
      • Use a  calendar system
      • Use separate work and home calendars if that works better for you
      • Schedule fun things in to your calendar

Be Great!

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How to Help Your Teens Learn Goal Setting

32095149_mThis process of goal setting can be used by anyone. You can teach your kids this process and they will be way ahead of their peers. We taught our children at a young age this very simple goal setting process.

Every Christmas we put a gift in each of our children’s stockings. It is the most inexpensive gift we give them, but over the years it has proven to be one of the most valuable gifts we have given them. We give each of them a blank 3×5  card that says Goals for 2015 (The year obviously changes).  On this card they put down their goals for the coming year.

We taught them to write down 3 – 5 of their big goals that they want to achieve during the year. Then beneath the goals they write down the plan they need to put in place to obtain the goals. The plan includes what needs to be done on a daily, weekly or monthly basis.

They were taught to carry the goal card and to review it frequently. At the end of the year they knew what they achieved and where they needed to improve.

Our kids have grown up to be high achievers and I attribute a lot of this to their setting big goals. Did they hit all of their goals? No, but they certainly achieved goals they would not have if they didn’t have written goals.

This process is not just for kids, it is for everyone. You can do a goal card too. All you have to do is get a 3×5 card or small piece of paper and start the process. It’s never too late to start. Get started today!

Be Great!

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How to Write a Spiritual Program for Life

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Many of you have a Plan for Your Life, but do you have a Spiritual Program for Your Life?
A spiritual program for your life is a plan to help you progress in your spiritual development.  It a a road map you create to help you grow in holiness.
Steps to create a spiritual program for your life:
1) You will need to set some time aside to reflect on yourself. I recommend taking at least a half a day to do this. Pick a quiet place to reflect.
2) Determine your root sin.  The root sins are Pride, Vanity and Sensuality. We each have all of these to a degree, but one will usually stand out.
Manifestations of Pride: You don’t trust others, you are always right, being judgmental and critical of others, always trying to hit the next goal, getting down on yourself when you fail, not wanting to depend on anyone.
Manifestations of Vanity: You seek approval and acceptance from others, wanting others to like and admire you, fear rejection from friends and peers, fall into impurity in order to be liked or feel loved.
Manifestations of Sensuality: You avoid tasks or work because of your emotional state, always wanting the “newest and best” of everything, don’t control your appetite, eating or drinking to excess, escape by turning on TV or watching movies to avoid what you should do, seek intimacy for selfish pleasure.
3) List out 4 – 6 manifestations of your root sin.
     Example: I tend to judge other people
4) Choose an opposite virtue to your root sin
     Examples of opposite virtues:
     Pride: Humility, Simplicity, Meekness, Compassion, Docility, Service of Others
     Vanity: Purity of intentions, Seeing Christ in others, Purity, acceptance of yourself
     Sensuality: Focus on the person of Christ, Hope, Patience, Purity,
5) Choose specific means to obtain the specific virtue
      Choose what you can do on a daily, weekly, monthly basis to form the specific virtue.
6) Determine the ideal you are going to strive to imitate
     The ideal is always to strive to become more like Christ. You need to choose an aspect of Christ’s personality as your ideal.
7) Choose a motto. Your motto is your battle cry.
 Here is a worksheet to help you develop your Spiritual Program for Your Life. This is a sample of a Spiritual Program for Your Life so you can see what a completed one may look like.
 This document should be used to do a daily examination of your conscience to see how you did each day. Reflect on it and review it. Be careful not to beat yourself up too much. Remember this is a plan that you are working on and you will not be a 100% successful every day. It took years for you to form some of these habits and tendencies. It will take time for you to work on yourself and grow spiritually.

 Be Great!

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How to Create a Plan for Your Life

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Do you have a plan for your life? Is it in electronic or print form?

I teach a plan for life using of the 6 f’s: Faith, Family, Fitness, Finances, Friends and Fun. I am going to give you a format that you can use to put a plan together for your life.

There are two distinct paths I have watched people take over the years. The first path is to build your life around your career/business and the other path is to build your career/business around your life.

The first path, building your life around your career/business, usually leads to a bad ending. It often leads to burnout, health issues, a drinking or drug problem and often unfortunately divorce. This is avoidable if you choose the path of building your career/business around your life. I am going to show you how.

The first thing to do is consider how you would like to be remembered for by your wife, kids, friends and family. Make a list of what is most important to you and how you would like your wife and kids remember you.

What is the main thing that you are striving to be remembered for in your life? Write your life purpose statement from this.

Now take each of the 6 categories (Faith, Family, Fitness, Finances, Friends and Fun) and put a number on each of these based on the importance to you in your life, with 1 being highest and 6 being lowest. This is your values hierarchy.

Take each of the 6 categories using the format provided and put them in the order you choose. The next thing to do is to take each individual category and write down what this category would look like to you in a “perfect” world. Do this for all 6 categories. Here is a working document.

Now take your first category and write all the activities on a daily, weekly, monthly or annual basis that are needed to reach your vision statement in that category. Do this for all your categories. Here is a sample for a family category.

Many people like to take the 6 F’s and break them down into subcategories. For example on the family account many people like to breakdown into categories like Marriage, Children or Grandchildren and Relatives. You can create activities for each of the subcategories if you choose to make your plan for life like this.

This is your plan so you can make it any way that you want.  A plan for life is not something you can do in an hour or two. This is something that you need to schedule a whole day to go someplace offsite like a park, a lake or a place you like to think. It is also a great document to share with your spouse since you are living life together.

This is one of the most important documents that you can ever put together. Some of your life plan is in concrete, but much of it is in sand and changes as you go through different stages in your life. You want to review this document and make changes on a quarterly basis.

Pick a day every week to read your Plan for Your Life. Put it in your calendar to make sure it happens.

Be Great!

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The Most Important Thing You Can Give Your Teenage Driver

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It is a scary thing for a parent to have a new driver in the house. My wife and I had four teenage drivers over the years.

She took them out driving and I paid for the insurance and did a few driving lessons myself. For some reason they liked driving with my wife more than myself, especially the girls.  My wife still puts her foot on the floor to brake and puts her hands out to the dash when I get a little close to someone. She never did this until she taught the kids to drive.

One of our friends had a driving contract that they used with their kids. We got a copy of it, adapted it our family values and used it with our four children. I have shared it with other parents with new drivers over the years. You can get a copy here.

Some of the highlights of our driving contract are:

  • A GPA has to maintained on a semester basis based the child’s potential GPA
  • It limits the number of kids in the car
  • No cell phone calls or texting
  • The car must be kept clean
  • The teen has to respect their mom and dad
  • The new driver has to sign and date the contract. They get a copy. Mom and dad keep a copy.

The key to this is that you must stand behind each other as parents and stick to the driving contract. Also remember to check into state laws for how many passengers can be in a new driver’s car when you are revising the contract for your use.

We were lucky and only had one instance the contract was broken.  It was much harder on my wife and I than it was for the teen. In this case the teen disrespected his mom and lost driving privileges for a month. It was a long embarrassing month for the teen. Unfortunately we had to drive them to school and sports practices.

Please share this with parents you know that have new teen drivers.

Be Great!

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How to Improve 6 Areas of Your Life in 2015

Finishing the Year Strong

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We just completing the first half of 2015.  This is a great time to do a mid year review.
The first step is to review each category of the 6 F’s.
Rate each category on a scale of 1 – 10 with 10 being the highest.
  1. Faith
  2. Family
  3. Fitness
  4. Finances
  5. Fun
  6. Friends
How are you doing? What areas did you have the highest scores? What areas are you out of balance?
Now focus on 3 – 5 things you want to improve the second half of the year.  What are the 2 -3 categories you want to improve? What activities do you need to change or do more of to improve? What resources do you need?  By when or what date do you need to have the activities completed? Write down the improvements and review them daily for the next two weeks. Change any activity that needs tweaked to help you get to where you want to be. Review this weekly through the rest of the year measuring your progress and adjusting the activities to help you get the score you want to attain in each of the 2 – 3 categories you have chosen to improve.
In the upcoming weeks I will cover building a plan to live life more intentionally and a program for your spiritual life.

Be Great!